I sent Kyle a message yesterday evening because I was sick of him ignoring me. Basically here’s what went down.

Me: Kyle, I like you. Can you tell me what’s going on, like if your interested or not? We haven’t really talked the last few days so I’m just wondering.
Kyle: Hey erica. I do apologize for not answering your text. I deleted my account today due to me not being ready to date other women. I hope you understand and I wish you all the luck in your future endeavors. I have way to much on my plate and need a break from women.
Me: Yeah, I understand. I know you have a lot on your plate and I wasn’t trying to be pushy or anything. It just seemed like we had a lot of fun so I’m confused and a bit hurt, thats all. if your not ready, I respect that.

Kyle: Sooo any thoughts on my reply??
Me: I did answer, I guess it didn’t come thru. I understand but I don’t like it. I know you have a lot on your plate. I wasn’t trying to be pushy at anytime, and I guess thats how it came across. It seemed like we had fun so I’m pretty hurt honestly. I also think that you probably think I can’t handle being second to your son, or that your worried that you can’t give me time when I want it, so you think it’s easier to not try at all, which isn’t really fair.
Kyle: Ya I mean I wasn’t really ready for new girls…sorry
Me: So then why lead me on, why fool around?
Kyle: That’s a good question, and that’s why I’m stopping before I hurt you because thats not my intentions.
Me: You already hurt me. I don’t just fool around with anyone on a second date. Did you even like me Kyle?
Kyle: Omg erica. Don’t make this hard, there is plenty of fish hence the name. I told you I was not stable.
Me: Okay Kyle. Thanks I guess.
Kyle: Take care erica you are a real nice person and you will make some guy really happy.
Me: Words of advice, next time just tell the girl, don’t make her ask, or drag it out by ignoring her. I’ve had a feeling since friday that this was coming. Um, do you want your DVD back?
Kyle: no no keep it, just letting you know that I’m not interested in intimacy I still think your cool just not into dating. I don’t know spanish lol (the dvd was in spanish)
Me: I hate myself for asking, but is this because we fooled around and things went as far as they did? cuz I thought you wanted it, which is why I did it.
Kyle: no no it was good. Just have been soul searching and the best thing for me is focusing on the tasks at hand.
Me: Yeah, I understand. Sorry. You just have a lot of the qualities that I look for in a guy and I actually had fun with you. Okay well I guess that’s that then. If by chance you change your mind, you know how to reach me. Thank you for the dates kyle. I’m going to leave you alone now.
Kyle: See ya erica. Definitely we can do coffees
Me: lol oh Kyle. I’m just going to be straight up honest here. I like you and I’m attracted to you. I can handle the no intimacy, but I’m not sure how we are suppose to have coffee if I have feelings for you. But send me a message when you wanna do coffee and we’ll see what happens.
Kyle: k, don’t wait for me. Find yourself a nice guy
Me: I don’t wait, that’s why I needed to know what was going on. And I don’t care how stupid this sounds, but in the end you are the one missing out cuz you arn’t even giving me a chance. Anyways balls in your hands now. Bye Kyle.

I guess I expected this in a way. After our date last Thursday he was acting pretty weird on Friday with the lack of texting. I mean I’ve known from the beginning that he was a busy guy, and pretty much accepted that I would be second to his son. It just seems weird considering we talked about taking thing’s slow earlier.

I can only assume that he threw in the coffee as a way to try to make me feel better, which basically confuses the hell out of me as to why he would do that. Our first date was pretty much talking over ice cream, which is pretty similar to getting coffee.

Anyways, I’m done trying to figure it out and I don’t plan on contacting him at all. I will be pretty surprised if he does contact me and does want to do coffee, and I’m not 100% sure that I would say no. A part of me want to say no, but then a part of me wants to say yes in case it could like turn into something; and I know I’m stupid for thinking that, but I don’t care.

So yea, we started talking on Feb 16th and officially stopped talking on March 16th. That’s that then.

In light of all this I’ve decided to keep my profile on the dating site hidden. I’m not really up to the rejection. It opened up all the David wounds all over again.

A part of me does not want to write about what’s been going on inside my head because by typing it all out for others to read it makes me sound crazy; which I like to think I’m not.
Anyways, here’s goes.

Kyle and I have been txting daily since Feb 16th. We’ve had 2 dates. The first one on the 25th of Feb and the second one on the 10th of March. Up until then things have been going pretty great. Both dates went well. We seemed to have hit it off. On the second date we hung out at his place and he made little attempts to like touch my hair and hand.
On the friday after the date, we didn’t text as often and I just figured that it was because he was working days. On saturday, we didn’t text as often either and I just figured he was working, then with his son and I wasn’t feeling very well, so I left it. Sunday we didn’t txt at all. On Monday I sent him a text saying how setting the clocks an hr ahead had left me feeling exhausted in the morning, but I didn’t hear anything from him till later monday night and it was pretty short lived. Basically it was me texting to him and I stopped when he sent me a text saying he was playing vids.

I’ve talked to some people about it and I’ve had mixed responses. Some have said this is his way of trying to fade out of my life, while other have said he’s just busy. I’m pretty much stuck and I go back and forth between both. If it is his way of trying to fade out of my life why would he let me borrow a DVD of his? That’s what I get stuck on. Or why did the dates go so well? It basically does not make sense.

So for now, I’ve decided to do nothing. I’ve sent him a text today and I’m really trying hard not to think about it. I keep telling myself that he’s just busy with life and spending time with his son and then when he’s back on nigh shift we will talk again. If not…then I don’t know.

it’s not really a secret but since the 16th of feb, I’ve been talking with Kyle. (the guy I went out with on the 24th).
Last night he sent me a text asking ‘how serious of a relationship are you looking for” and it stumped me for several sections. I wanted to be careful how I answered it because I didn’t want to open myself up to much and have him like totally shoot me down, so I stuck with “down the road I would like to be married and have children. I’m not looking for a fuck buddy nor am I the type to date multiple guys at once so if I’m going out with you, it’s only you” to which he responded “i want nothing more then to fall in love, I’m also in a state where I protect my feelings. it will bypass. All in all i want a good friend before its labeled as a relationship. Can you relate?” Obviously I can.

So far to date, that has been the most serious that we’ve been with each other and I was still a little worried that he was talking to/dating other girls so I basically just asked him point blank. Thankfully his answer to my “So when you date a girl, do you just date her, or her and other girls” question was “just her. Only one girl gets my goods. lol, don’t use me for my penis erica”

I think it’s safe to say that we both equally like each other. We’ve both said it a number of times, so I’m hopefully but still taking things as they come. We somewhat have a date planned for march 2nd or this weekend. It depends on his work schedule.

Things just feel different with him. A good different.