I have not written about my relationship with the new bf for many reasons. Mostly because I did not want to jinx anything by doing that.

However, that somewhat changes now.
Recently I’ve been feeling unsure about the whole relationship. A part of me compares it to the relationship I had with David and I know that’s not healthy, nor is it right, but the relationship I had with him was pretty much the most normal out of all of them.

Things I’m questioning:
- bf is very honest. maybe a little too honest. He’s told me what he does not like about my body and it’s made me that much more self conscious
- He refuses to answer any questions about his past, and does not want to hear about my past.
- He’s already told me he loves me (we haven’t even been dating for a month) and he gets upset when I just tell him that I care about him.
- He has no education other then high school and works a min wage job
- He’s willing to spend tons of money on me to prove he loves me
- He want’s to be together constantly. Like see each other twice during the week and then on the weekend
- He got upset when I said he probably won’t meet my close friends unless we are engaged.

yeah..I think I’ll stop now. I need to end it this evening.

I’m writing you this letter and you will never ever see it, but there are some things that I feel need to be said. I’ve made the decision to post it on my website, because I can. I need to find a way to get over you and I need people to help me get over you and this is the only way I know how to.

You’ve told me you miss me, but you’ve assured me that you are over me. I know you are not over me, because you still miss me. You cant be over someone, if you miss them. That’s why you have asked me to not contact you, and don’t worry; I wont be contacting you. Not ever again, because I have deleted you from my cell phone and from msn. I’ve left you on facebook, just to see if you actually do get in contact with me. I believe that you wont.

You have a new girlfriend, whom feel’s threatened by me. I know this by you not answering the phone when I call. She is already staying over at your place, and you are already sleeping with her. I hope for your sake that it does not blow up in your face, because that would make working together very hard. You’ve told me that I need time, shouldn’t you be taking your own advice?

In time I will get over you. I know that.

Erica

I know I’m not in the wrong here..I just need some feedback.

Erica says: (7:39:10 PM)
okay, um can you give me some money this weekend?
Superdave says: (7:40:41 PM)
really?
Superdave says: (7:41:23 PM)
i have to pay rent with this paycheck
Superdave says: (7:41:28 PM)
and bus pass
Erica says: (7:41:46 PM)
so thats 680?
Superdave says: (7:41:59 PM)
yes
Erica says: (7:42:16 PM)
and you wont have enought left over?
Superdave says: (7:42:35 PM)
i dunno what i have left
Erica says: (7:42:41 PM)
oh
Superdave says: (7:42:51 PM)
i never know
Superdave says: (7:42:58 PM)
i have so many bills
Superdave says: (7:43:19 PM)
how much do you want? how much do i owe you?
Erica says: (7:43:48 PM)
you never know what?
Superdave says: (7:44:14 PM)
i never know how much i have left.. and how much to pay on my bills
Erica says: (7:45:41 PM)
you owe me $130
Superdave says: (7:45:58 PM)
130?
Erica says: (7:46:00 PM)
yeah*
Superdave says: (7:46:04 PM)
what?
Erica says: (7:46:12 PM)
half of movies/pita/dinner/tow
Superdave says: (7:46:20 PM)
tow?
Erica says: (7:46:24 PM)
uh yes
Superdave says: (7:46:33 PM)
you can’t tell me to pay you back for that
Erica says: (7:46:43 PM)
yes I can. we went to toronto because YOU wanted to*
Superdave says: (7:47:05 PM)
yeah well i was going to pay for the whole tow
Erica says: (7:47:10 PM)
really?
Superdave says: (7:47:14 PM)
not anymore
Erica says: (7:47:19 PM)
wtf ?
Erica says: (7:47:29 PM)
the whole tow is 211
Erica says: (7:47:38 PM)
im doing you a favour, only making you pay half and you are complain
Superdave says: (7:47:51 PM)
your doing me a favour
Superdave says: (7:47:58 PM)
how about i don’t pay any then
Superdave says: (7:48:23 PM)
i was gonna pay the whole thing.. because i thought it was right.. but your being like that.. so whatever
Erica says: (7:48:37 PM)
being like what?
Superdave says: (7:48:38 PM)
but don’t think your doing any favors
Superdave says: (7:48:59 PM)
you never talked to me about it… you just say i owe you half
Superdave says: (7:49:08 PM)
that’s not right
Erica says: (7:49:09 PM)
in the car you said you would*
Superdave says: (7:49:17 PM)
i said i would help
Erica says: (7:49:20 PM)
okay*
Superdave says: (7:49:41 PM)
you just need to learn a little bit about how things work
Erica says: (7:49:49 PM)
about how what works david
Superdave says: (7:49:49 PM)
i have no obligation to pay you anything…
Erica says: (7:49:59 PM)
david, we went to toronto becayse YOU wanted to
Erica says: (7:50:04 PM)
thereofre you do have an obligation*
Superdave says: (7:50:04 PM)
yeah
Superdave says: (7:50:14 PM)
okay i’m not paying you a thing
Erica says: (7:50:24 PM)
what?
Erica says: (7:50:30 PM)
are you serious*

thats pretty much where the conversation ends. Either he’s ignoring me or just not talking to me, so Im not doing anything to further the conversation.

So, needless to say I’m beyond pissed. I’m considering ending the relationship and calling the magazine subscription company and canceling his birthday subscription, as well going over on Friday and cleaning out my stuff from his place.

I don’t know how else to say this, other then just coming right out.

Last week, My cousin and her husband welcomed a beautiful baby girl.
Then my cousin had a stroke.
Since then she has had 2 more strokes and a seizure.

She is paralyzed. Cant speak, or move.

My mom (my cousin’s godmother) is pretty distraught about everything.
Thankfully my uncle is great about sending us updates all the time.

So if I don’t post must, it’s probably because of all this personal stuff going on.

I had a meeting with my boss today prior to leaving work for the day. It’s all bullshit.
Apparently some parents have complained that I
- Do not greet the children in the morning
- Make the toddlers put on their coats and tell them that I will not assist them

Some staff has complained that I
- Do not hold/pick up the toddlers correctly
- Refuse to assist children in bathroom duties

Basically everything is bull shit, I think anyways,
I greet every child that comes into the room, and their parent. Hell I even greet the preschools in the hall if I’m walking past them.
As for not assisting them with coats, okay, so maybe some toddlers I do not help..but that’s only because they are able to do it on their own. I would never say that I’m not going to help them ever, I just prefer that they do it on their own if they can. Hello, being independent.
As for refusing to assist a child with the bathroom, well here’s what happened. I was in the middle of changing the bedding (because it’s laundry day) and we had a college student doing diapers, she stepped out of the room for some reason, and the other staff (the one who complained to my boss) in the room was painting a cork board. The child in question got off her bed and asked to go to the washroom, I told her that I was busy and that she would have to wait until I was able to assist her. (she’s potty trained, but wears a diaper during nap time -so I was not concerned about any accidents) She went to stand by the door and wait for me and then eventually the other staff assisted her.

I of course defended my position against everything and my boss is puzzled about the greeting comment. As for the picking up/holding comment; sometimes I swing the children as I pick them up, only with certain children because they ask for it. My boss told me to not do this when parents are around and to assist the children with the coats when parents are around as well.

I’m so frustrated. I wish I could know which parents complain about me.